I’m a People Pleaser

BF: We’re leaving at noon on Thursday, right?

Me: Yep, Thursday afternoon.

BF: That’s not what I said.

Me: Um…

I’m supposed to be having a nice, relaxing getaway with the BF this weekend. It’s kind of a last-minute plan, and there are still a few things we’re trying to figure out. The problem? I’ve got too much on my plate, and I’m kinda stressed out!

I posted last week about needing to use up my vacation time at work, and I’m running out of time to do so. In theory, this is the perfect weekend to get away. It being a Holiday, the weekend is longer, without having to add too many days off. We can see friends out of state for a day or two, and still have a few days to ourselves.

Of course, lack of foresight meant that I had a short week last week. Add in a short work week this week, and next week, and I’m running tight on time at work. I’m going into my busiest part of the month next week, and I’ll already be behind. Not exactly a relaxing way to start a vacation!

In addition to having a heavy workload, I also am supposed to be having a meeting with someone at corporate. He wanted to meet last week on Thursday or Friday at my office. I told him I would be out of the office those days, but would willingly come in to meet with him. He then said he’d get with me this week about setting up a meeting time. It was implied we’d meet the middle of the week. It’s already Wednesday, and I haven’t heard from him yet.

I’m a people pleaser. I don’t like letting people down. I also worry excessively about leaving people with a bad impression. I wasn’t willing to stand my ground with the BF about when I would be taking off from work. In his opinion, everyone else would do it without a second thought (we work at the same company, so he knows the environment). I keep stressing that what everyone else does has nothing to do with me, or my job. Even still, I went along with leaving on Thursday, even though I wasn’t sure it was going to work.

I should have just been upfront with the guy at corporate, letting him know when I would be available. But I didn’t want it to sound bad, asking him to work around my schedule. I feel like saying that I’m taking two long weekends in a row sounds unprofessional. My plan was to try to work around his schedule. But now it’s ticking down to the last-minute, and my personal plans and professional plans are starting to conflict.

I know how I should have handled the situation. Instead, I held on to the hope that I could please everyone, and things would just somehow work out. Sometimes it does work out. And sometimes it doesn’t. Either way, it usually leaves me completely stressed trying to figure it all out. So now, I have to make a decision. Do I contact the guy at corporate, and admit that I have plans AGAIN this week? Do I continue to wait and see? Do I risk disappointing the BF?

What would you do if you were in my situation?

– Cindy W.


  1. Yikes!

    I would try to reschedule the work appointment during work hours somehow. Don’t feel bad about taking a weekend off with your boyfriend. It’s your life!

  2. What Holly said 🙂

    I am also a people pleaser but have found over the years to first please myself (boy does that sound wrong!) then work on pleasing others.

    In this case, I would carry on with the holiday plans and deal with it when you get back. Have a great time, do what you wanna do, and then stomp out any office fires that come up when you get back to work next week.

    As Holly stated in her recent post, nobody owns you! You have a life away from your job so live it. If this doesn’t fit in with your corporates plans, well, soooorrrrreeeee (said in a Steve Martin voice).

    Take care and enjoy yourself.


  3. Thanks Holly and Lyle!

    I ended up contacting the guy at corporate and finally nailing down a time. In the end, I failed at both. The meeting didn’t go at all the way I hoped, and resulted in me not leaving the office until later in the afternoon. The BF was understanding, but I knew he wasn’t happy about it. I got myself so worked up about things that by the next morning I was in tears. Not a good way to start a vacation! But after that I was able to pull things back together, and we ended up having a nice, relaxing weekend away!

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