I’ve been looking at this blog for the past week, wanting to post something, but not sure where to start. We were on vacation the week before last, and I was determined to not “work” while we were away.
It’s been hard coming back to reality. Vacation was kind of a bust, but even still, it was a break away from the usual. I’ve had a migraine almost every day since we’ve been back. I could attribute it to still trying to overcome the cold I came down with the first day of vacation, or adjusting to wearing my glasses again after a week without. But I think the issue is much simpler: I hate my job.
Just saying that seems somehow ungrateful. After all, many people would kill to have a job, especially one that pays a fair wage, has fabulous benefits, and has loads of flexibility with ample time off. The worst I can say for my job is that the office is catty and gossipy, and there is little respect and zero support. People have overcome much worse. Honestly, I think it’s me more than anything else. But then, that’s a whole topic unto itself.
I feel like I have so many ideas of what to write about, but they’re all stuck in my head, and I don’t know where to start. And when I do start writing, one topic rambles into another, and blog posts quickly turn into books. It sucks when writing issues come down to lack of focus more than lack of ideas.
I feel like I’ve learned a lot over the past year, and it’s forced me to really think about who I am, and what I want for the future. I’ve experienced good things and bad, but they’ve all brought a bit of perspective. I want to write about aging, and the importance of forming a community. About digging deeper to figure out what you really want out of life, instead of what you’re supposed to want. I want to write about how we’re planning for a future as a couple with a large age gap, and some of the struggles that presents.
Hopefully I’ll be able to start pulling some of my thoughts together, and actually get them into writing. Overall, I am happy with life right now. I’m frustrated with my job situation, but I have some exciting ideas floating around in my head. I just need to get over my fear and risk taking a chance. Hopefully I’ll be able to start moving forward on some ideas in the next few months.
- Cindy W.