If I’m being honest, life is a little overwhelming right now. Not in a dark, depressed sort of way. Just in a really, really, stressful sort of way. I feel like I have 5 million things on my plate right now, and I’m not really doing a good job with any of them. And over the last couple of weeks I’ve developed this lovely eye twitch, where whenever I’m stressed out my top and/or bottom eyelid starts spasming. Usually on my right eye, but sometimes on the left one too. So then I get to worry that, on top of being stressed and bitchy, that I look crazy as well. Fun times!
There aren’t enough hours in the day to get everything I need to get done at work. And I have to watch myself; I start getting ticked off about things, and then I find myself being less productive. Obviously that helps nothing. As much as I hate the cold, I find myself looking forward to when the weather changes. There’s only so much road construction that can be done in the Midwest once the cold and snow set in. A few of our departments work year round, but things are definitely calmer in the winter!
In less than two weeks we’ll be leaving on vacation! I’m really looking forward to the break, but getting ready to go is definitely adding to my stress. I’m sitting here early on a Saturday morning writing this as my car gets an oil change and a few other things taken care of in preparation of our big trip. I’m slowly working on pulling things together, so I’m not running around crazy at the last-minute trying to pack and get things done. I’m a procrastinator by nature, which usually means I get a little stressed (read: completely psychotic) as I’m trying to get everything done 5 seconds before we leave. Not this time! I’m trying to get as much done beforehand as possible, so I can just walk out the door when it’s time to go. But trying to squeeze everything in to an already tight schedule isn’t easy.
Money is stressing me out right now as well. It really shouldn’t be; I’m “fine” financially. I can cover all my bills, and have money for all my needs, and most of my wants. But I’m spending a lot, which means I might not make my goals for the year. This vacation is going to be pricey. I finally got a tree guy out to the house yesterday to quote trimming the tree the neighbors are complaining about. Yes, it’s been forever. We’ve had someone lined up to do it all this time, at a great price ($100!). But week after week, something else would come up. It was time to face the facts, he was never going to do the work. I’ve worked with a great tree guy before, but I’m guessing he retired, since his business no longer exists. The neighbors have worked with 5 different companies, and had issues with all of them. So, I found a company listed online with good reviews, and called them out. The guy quoted me to prune the tree, and “top” it. $1,250. Are you f-ing kidding me?!? He shrugged and pointed out that it is a 70+ foot tree. We finally came to a compromise; $550 for them to trim all the dead wood, and stuff hanging over the house.
I have $2,500 set aside for the house. But that money was intended for finishing things out to get the house ready to sell. I have been pairing back lately on the things I want to do before putting the house on the market. After all, I bought the house when it was far from perfect. I don’t need to turn it into a model home just to be able to sell it. I just need to sell it! Which is another stressor for me right now: The house! I’m way past ready for it to be gone. The boyfriend doesn’t understand. He sees the house as something I own. Security. How can owning something be a bad thing? I see it completely differently. The house is my past life. I was ready to sell the house years ago. Every dollar I put into that house is a dollar I can’t spend on the life I actually want to live. It’s costing me $500-600 a month on the mortgage and utilities alone. That doesn’t include the money I’m spending getting it ready to sell. Or the extra money for the tree, or the flood in the kitchen, etc. All the time and money I’m spending on the house is time and money I’d rather be spending on other things. I’m done.
Add in family, and being sick a lot lately, and life in general, and my nerves are fried. But in 2 weeks, I’ll be on vacation! Things are going to get better. I just have to buckle down and make it through. But that’s life!
Are you finding life stressful right now? What are you doing to try to improve things?
– Cindy W.